didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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