He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
do nipples grow back?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
