girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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