So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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