Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he shaved USA in his pubs
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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