so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
