shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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