it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
