So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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