I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
