Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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