If i come over, it means nothing
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
