dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
