whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
What changed your mind?
Being sober
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
