I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
