You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
