I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
