update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He keeps bees of course he's weird
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
