I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
