He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
