I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
