Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
