dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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