Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
