the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
