i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
