remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
