Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
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