I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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