First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
my phone needs a breathalizer
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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