some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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