I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
