I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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