terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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