i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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