Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
