I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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