The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
