I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Operation Purity has been aborted
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
