p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
