Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
