Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
