Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
