She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
