He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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