Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
