I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
