Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
