she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
