birth control should be required to get into college
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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